It's sometimes difficult for an escort to realize whether a client is truly confused or testing to see how far he can push the provider. Some behaviors are difficult to differentiate and may be exhibited by both boundary pushers and clueless clients alike. Let's see if we can tell them apart.
- Clients who ask overly personal questions just don't get it. When a client insists on inquiring repeatedly about your private life and details, he probably doesn't understand that your relationship with him doesn't include the privilege of getting to know the "real" you. Often, new clients feel that they are sharing intimate moments and thoughts with you, so it's only right to delve into other personal details, too. However, they don't realize that the connection you and he share is only a professional one and does not include access to information that reveals data about who you are, how to reach you, your family and friends and intimate stories about your personal life. He doesn't need to know about your children, the kind of sex you have with your husband or what age you were when you lost your virginity. Of course, if you choose to share these details with him, that's entirely up to you. But, you should never feel pressured to do so, and no client who is accustomed to how the escort industry works should expect you to come forth with details about your home life or history.
- Clients who want to meet up prior to the encounter just don't get it. Escorts get requests from clients frequently who want to get together ahead of time, to "see if we like each other." What they don't seem to understand is that the escort industry is a far cry from online dating. When a client books an encounter, he schedules time that he promises to pay for with an escort. There is no trial period where a client gets to chat up an escort to see how compatible they might be. When a client suggests this, you will have to explain to him the differences between booking an encounter and going on a blind date. While it's true that an encounter may have a warm-up period, it's certainly not the same as what many clients are asking for. Suggest to the client that he should be fairly sure he is happy with you as his escort selection when he schedules time with you. Additionally, inform him that you are setting aside time he has asked for. When the two of you meet for the first time, you expect payment for the entire time he booked, to compensate you for your efforts and time. If he doesn't like you, he isn't required to book again in the future.
- Clients who want to talk about sex immediately during the first communication just don't get it. There are several reasons clients shouldn't attempt to discuss sex acts right out of the gate with an escort. Firstly, a client has no way of knowing that an escort isn't a member of a law enforcement agency. If he begins his conversation with details based on sex, a police officer may automatically assume he expects to exchange money for sex, which is illegal in all states, except for Nevada. Secondly, an escort isn't certain who she's dealing with when a client contacts her and won't discuss sex with a client who could be a detective or investigator. It's a great way to cause an escort to hang up. Finally, it's rude for a client to open up an introductory conversation with talk about sex. It's suggesting that he only values an escort for the physical pleasure she can give him, which is demeaning and disrespectful. As an escort, you should feel free to explain these three things to a client who jumps the gun with sex talk, prior to getting to know you or your policies first (at the least).
- Clients who fail to understand the concept of discretion just don't get it. Bragging about their escapades, chatting up colleagues about their upcoming adventures and brazenly announcing to the world that they are going out with an escort are traits of a client who, obviously, doesn't seem to comprehend that the escort/client relationship requires a significant degree of discretion. While an escort loves to get good reviews (online), she doesn't need a client discussing her flexibility or amazing oral sex skills at the bar the next night. Any client who fails to recognize that an escort has a lot to lose by her identity being revealed or her profession being announced to the world just simply isn't thinking. Additionally, it benefits clients to behave discreetly when they start a relationship with an escort, because they don't need their family members, friends, peers and partners discovering their extra-curricular activities. Reminding a client that he needs to keep quiet about his rendezvous with you may be necessary when he's especially excited about his experience. If a client can't learn to keep his mouth shut or behave in such a way that protects both your and his privacy, it may be time to refer him down the road to another provider.
- Clients who don't have a clear comprehension of the screening process just don't get it. Every escort who cares about her welfare will screen her clients to ensure her own safety. Going through a series of questions or asking for a few certain details provides an escort with ample information to use when she's querying a client to determine if he's a threat to her during an encounter. However, clients who don't understand the vetting process are often unwilling to give information or provide false answers. It's up to the escort to explain how the process works, because new clients may not understand. However, when a client just doesn't seem to see the importance in it after an explanation, he may someone not worth your time. Your expectations of a client include a fair amount of give and take, which includes his participation in the screening guidelines you set up prior to meeting for a booking. When a client doesn't cooperate with you at this level, it's also an indicator he may not go along with other standards or boundaries you set. Elaborate on your concerns and give your client a chance to follow through with you. If he doesn't, he's not a viable risk in the future.
- Clients who provide payment in odd methods just don't get it. Escorts usually prefer a cash payment (or contribution) up front when clients arrive for a booking. (Or, when escorts show up for an outcall.) When a client chooses to pay in some other format, it indicates that he may not understand how significant the method of payment is. For instance, if he writes a check, that provides a significant paper trail and requires an escort to present it for payment. Credit card payments, while convenient, may require too much information or provide too extensive of information exchange. Plus, the funds are rarely immediately accessible and may be voided or charged back, later. Escorts rely on their clients to consistently pay their rates in cash. They develop ways of handling their cash and create ways to make it work for them. A client who shows up with an unrequested form of payment either wasn't listening or didn't care about what his escort told him. After you explain that you only accept certain methods, his unwillingness to cooperate indicates much more than the fact that he simply doesn't get it. It implies he doesn't care about your wishes, which means you shouldn't care about his, either, and send him along on his way.
- Clients who try to chat you up several times prior to the encounter simply don't get it. If you're going on a blind date or, even, a first date with someone, it makes sense to touch base on the phone or over email a few times prior to the "big day." However, when escorts and clients meet up for the first time, this preliminary warming up period is never followed through on. In fact, clients and escorts rarely exchange more communications beyond the scheduling process. However, new clients may be nervous about the upcoming encounter. To allay their fears, they will probably attempt to engage in a few incidents of small talk with their escorts. It's up to an escort to nip this behavior in the bud, lest it becomes a habit. Explain to your client that he's paying for your time. When he expects for you to engage in conversation prior to the slated booking, he should pay for that time, too. Most clients will begin to get it at this point of the explanation.
- Clients who try to negotiate with you for a better rate just don't get it. Escorts all have set rates for their bookings with clients. Based on their experience, appearance, market and various other factors, an escort values her time and what it's worth to provide it to clients. Any client who attempts to haggle with an escort for a cheaper fee is indirectly telling her he doesn't respect her opinion and insults her personal worth by insinuating she isn't worth the value she originally quoted to him. Clients need to realize that they are doing this to escorts when it happens, instead of being told nicely that negotiations are not allowed. Escorts should tell clients that they don't accept clients who attempt to bargain for a better deal. Their rates are what they are, and if a client isn't willing to pay the fee, then he can locate another escort who is more in his price range. No escort should ever decrease her value simply because a client makes her feel like she should. Let him know you're not going to budge.
- Clients who don't follow directions just don't get it. When an escort tells a client that he should park on the side street to the east, she's providing important instruction that a client should heed. (Maybe, the street cleaner comes in that hour and will get the client's car dirty if he parks out front.) Escorts don't just make up directions to see if they can get their clients to jump through hoops. They provide details for clients to follow for both of their own welfares. Often, an escort asks a client to do certain things prior to showing up to her incall as a way of screening him at the last minute, too. Clients who can't follow directions can't be trusted. They are unsafe risks, loose cannons and unreliable. But, your clients may not realize how important it is to you that they follow your guidance. Give a new client a chance to understand where you care coming from with a down-to-earth description of how it makes you feel when he doesn't abide by your requests. If he takes heed, he's on his way to client stardom. Otherwise, he can find someone new.
- Clients who exhibit disrespectful behavior just don't get it. When a client shows up at your door in a drunken, high or manic state, it demonstrates to you that he doesn't respect you or your wishes. If a client uses vulgar language or suggests chauvinistic attitudes, it's a strong indicator that he doesn't carry you in high esteem. Additionally, any client who pushes your boundaries or attempts to force you to engage in unprotected sexual activities is guilty of much more than just disrespectful. Escorts who acquire clients who attempt to push them in these ways should promptly let clients know their behaviors will not be tolerated. If a client doesn't improve, he can find another provider.
- Clients who are surprised by an escort who undresses with or kisses them just don't get it. While most encounters involve many activities that have nothing to do with sex, the majority of them have an intimate component to them. However, when a client discovers this and it seems to be a surprise to him, it's pretty clear he's getting more than he bargained for. Some clients don't realize that an escort is being paid to see to it that he receives appreciation, gratitude and affection. However, they may not realize to what extent some escorts will go to make them happy. If you have a client who is surprised by your forwardness, you may need to back off and allow him to make the first moves. Also, it's acceptable to subtly explain how the encounters typically work.